Looking to hook yourself -- and your friends -- up with a group of girls? Make it a sure thing with the Internet’s latest social hybrid: the group date.

Grandpa always said, If you shoot into a barrel of fish, you’re more likely to hit one. And now, Pap, we understand the metaphor: group dating.

Group dating works with the same rationale, and efficiency is the name of the game. The mechanics are a lot like dating in high school before you had your driver’s license -- when Mom dropped you and your friends off a block away from the local roller rink, where you would swagger (or so you hoped) over to a group of equally anxious and awkward girls.

Add the Internet, then fast forward a few years, and here’s how it works now: You round up a group of male friends and join a group dating site. Meanwhile, a woman rounds up her own pals and joins the same site. Both groups meet. The result: “A bunch of people having a good time without the pressure of one-on-one dating or the worry of being stuck on a date so dull you wish an asteroid would hit,” says Janet Nooners of New York, who’s coordinated bimonthly group dating parties since January.

It's a lot like a typical Friday night, only instead of hoping you'll meet some new people, you actually do.

Pros

• You’ll have a gaggle of wingmen instead of one sacrificial one.

• You'll see how she interacts with your friends. Can she deal with your bud’s gross sense of humor? Can she engage in conversation with the group nerd about the latest Discovery channel series?

• You can save yourself a dinner tab and three hours of yammering about someone named Manolo or Jimmy Choo. And you don’t have to try to look like you know or care what a slingback is. Instead, you can quick-sample the options and save your time for the girl who’s actually worth it.

• You can perform due diligence without actually having to perform. “Thanks to your best friend’s ingenious banter, you can find out that she loves Rottweilers, has her scuba license and is dying to go to Burning Man,” says Nooners.

Cons

• Increased competition. Scenario: Three eager men, one sexy woman and her two crabby friends. Someone's going to hit it off, and it might not be you.

• Peer pressure. Your best friend can be a wee bit critical. Sometimes it's better to get to know a lady without your buds pointing out that she has “man hands.”

• Not-so-secret secrets. You’d rather keep some things to yourself when you first meet a new gal, such as that time in South Beach when you belted out four Madonna songs at the Chili’s karaoke night -- a tale your friends may share immediately. “No matter how subdued and polite you seem right now, she’s listening to that story as a warning,” says Florida’s Charlene Anthony, who met her current guy on a group date.

• Uncontrollable buddies. One of your friends alienates a group of delectable babes, who would otherwise be totally into you. Repairing the damage may be impossible.

• Wingman duties. During your “shift,” you may have to strike a delicate balance of distracting mousy, snort-laughing friend of hot girl while politely deflecting her exponentially aggressive advances.

Tips

• Communicate beforehand. Huddle with your friends and decide what’s good gab fodder and what’s off-limits. For instance: “References to ex-girlfriends or jokes about herpes,” says Gregg Barkley, who group dates in Los Angeles. Or “anything that involves quoting of movies between you and your buds -- girls don’t get that.”
• Coordinate outfits. “If everyone dons jeans and Affliction T-shirts, you’ll look like a boy band,” warns Anthony. “Or worse, if you’re all wearing khakis and polos, the one of you with jeans and a black tee will look like a free-thinking lead singer” (while the rest of you come off as his nerdy entourage).
• Come up with an escape route. Decide beforehand on a hard deadline to hit the road. Consider dropping a hint in the beginning of the evening that you absolutely must meet the other half of your crew by midnight. If the night goes well, you can pretend to cancel.
• Stay positive. Even if you don’t end up meeting Ms. Right this time, you can feel happy for your bud who always leaves empty-handed -- but scored that night. And since it was a “group date,” you’ll double your number of Facebook friends each time.

Your fantasy girl may be judging your every move online. Too bad your social networking profile’s such a turnoff to the ladies. Here’s how to put your best face forward on the Web. 

Sure, social networks like MySpace and Facebook give you access to more girls than the old analog world of generations past. Sadly, though, these young ladies may be more digitally privy than you. And they may be looking at your online profile right now, only to conclude that … you’re a jerk.

Example: Think an ambiguous relationship status makes you mysterious? Well, nope. Actually, a girl eyeing this immediately thinks you’re hiding something or someone -- or that you just want to keep your options open.

Here are five more things she may perceive as a red flag, and here’s how to avoid them:

TMI  
You had a disagreement with your best buddy, hate your boss and can’t get bigger calves no matter what you do at the gym. And every online “friend” you have knows it. Because you told them so.

The about-face: Really, keep it inside. To hook a girl, you need to keep a few secrets, or at least try not to seem like a whiney pessimist. Pour your heart out after you've been dating for a few months -- not on your wall. She may still think you whine but at least she’ll feel special that you whine to her.

Compromising Profile Photos
They show you can't grow up, you're not relationship material and you’re probably $10K in credit card debt because you put your vices -- like those allegedly awesome rims in albums No. 1, 2 and 3 -- on your card at a cool 27 percent APR.

The about-face: Swap these pictures out for something a little more conservative, such as something that actually, and accurately, features you -- at a time when you’re not puking, fighting or wearing someone’s boxers on your head.

Constant Status Updates
It looks like you have no life. Seriously. If you do 60 quizzes per day and comment on everyone's pictures, you’re probably unemployed or not the backbone of the company you say you are.

The about-face: Even if you do spend your weekends playing online backgammon, you can at least appear to be busy by curbing the urge to update every hour on the hour. And please wean yourself off the "Which Family Guy character are you?" quizzes.

A Defaced Wall
Your buddy posts the following message on your wall: “You’re the man! I couldn’t believe you and bowling babe last night in the parking lot!” The girl of your dreams sees this. She now knows the deal and wants nothing to do with you.

The about-face: Deactivate your wall or restrict who can view it.

Alibi-busting Photos
You tell your girl you were visiting your sick grandma last weekend, when you were actually at a party with your ex. Once those bash pictures hit Facebook -- especially if you’re tagged in any of them -- your cover’s blown.

The about-face: Change your settings so you’re notified whenever anyone tags you and can un-tag yourself ASAP. (Or, you know, stop being a lying two-timer.)

Got it? Stop shooting yourself in the foot with your profile. Now you might actually have a chance with her.

Ever think, "It's like women speak some other language!" Well, they sort of do. Here are some tips for understanding why women communicate the way they do and how to handle it.

God has played some cruel tricks on us men. He has made manly foods far too fattening and handed over Megan Fox to Brian Austin Green. But in perhaps His most diabolical move yet, He’s seen fit to make sure men will never, ever be able to understand what the hell women are saying.

Sure, that communication gap has fueled lame comedy routines and sitcoms for eons, but there’s definitely more than a nugget of truth behind it. So why do men and women have such a problem figuring each other out?

For one thing, women are just plain different. And we’re not talking about their propensity to wear bikinis. They actually communicate differently. Here’s why, and what to do about it:

Why They Talk … and Talk and Talk
While men tend to bond by exchanging information, women bond simply by opening their gobs; what she’s saying isn’t nearly as important as the fact that she’s saying it. “This is something guys don’t understand,” says Stephen Simpson, author of What Women Wish You Knew about Dating: A Single Guy's Guide to Romantic Relationships. “Just sharing any information is bonding to women.”

Why They Don’t Come out and Say It
Women are also generally less direct and more polite -- not including Nancy Pelosi. “Women speak from the heart,” says Lissa Coffey, relationship expert and Web mistress of the site Coffey Talk. “We’re aware of the emotion that is involved, we’re sensitive and we don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. When we are direct, it comes across as a demand, an argument or nagging. So we say in girl speak: ‘When you have a minute, would you mind please taking out the trash?’ and of course, the man hears this, interprets it as not a priority and a minute later promptly forgets. What we really meant in man speak was ‘Trash. Out. Now.’ But that just sounds mean, and we prefer to be more lady-like.”

Why They Say “Maybe” When They Mean “No”
When you ask out a woman, she may say “Let me check my schedule” as opposed to what she’s actually thinking: “You’ll see Rush Limbaugh running the ACLU before you see me naked.” Simply, the female preference for politeness is to blame.

Why They Use Body Language
Science has shown it, and we know you’re not going to try and argue with science: Women won’t just come out and say they are interested. Instead, she’ll let you know she’s hot for you by making eye contact, touching your arm and rubbing her own neck. It’s true. What can be most maddening for men is that women are even less direct when they feel like they’re being pursued by a guy. “She’s immediately going to become a lot vaguer and use more nonverbal cues,” Simpson says. In other words, don’t expect her to come right out and invite you for a cozy weekend at her beach house.

Why They Want You to Argue
Most guys will agree with anything a hot woman says. When you don’t, she’ll know you’re being honest. Simpson says women are so jaded that, early on in relationships, they actually count on men deceiving them. “They expect any guy who’s interested to exaggerate and hide something,” Simpson says. Often, women are less direct because they’re more cautious. (If you’d been hit on by as many losers as most chicks have, wouldn’t you be cautious too?) One of the ways to show her you’re not like all those other lying Neanderthals is to disagree with her.

How to Deal
So, yeah. Seems that bad comedian at the Ha Ha Hut was right. Men and women: different. She’ll continue to say vague, indirect things that you won’t understand, and the problems will persist. Solution: It’s time to put yourself in her place, gentlemen. “So often men don’t understand women because they look at the situation from their own, male point of view,” Coffey says. “Look at the situation instead through her eyes. Psychically try to put on her high-heeled pumps and feel what she’s feeling, just for a moment, even if it might seem to be illogical to you.”

And if that seems like more empathy than you can muster, try repeating back in your own words things women are saying to see if you’ve got it right. Sure, playing the parrot is a pain. But it’s not nearly as bad as swinging from your perch alone, night after night.