We can’t quite put a finger on it (probably because it’s soccer and you’re not allowed to use your hands), but a growing trend seems to have sprouted on the soccer field ... like the hair on your face.

It’s clear that throughout the history of “the beautiful game,” global soccer stars have found their brush with greatness accompanied by the brush on their mugs. Not prone to hyperbole, we’re saying that their cleverly appointed facial hair was not only their signature, but the factor that sealed the deal to their worldwide success. (And we say that with confidence, because we’re pretty sure we don’t exactly know what “hyperbole” means.)

In the annals of soccer greatness, many majestic mustaches and beards have adorned the lips, chin and -- in the worst cases -- ears of the game’s biggest names. Join us as we examine the evidence that is as plain as the hair on the faces of these soccer giants. Meet the all-trim team of soccer’s hairy Hall of Fame.

Rudi Voller, Germany
This brush-beaked German played 90 times for the national team during the 1980s and 1990s, racking up an amazing 47 goals, which included eight biggies during the World Cup -- all of which were scored with his signature magnificent mustache. Germans everywhere modeled their above-the-lip hair after their national hero, whom they affectionately called “Tante Kathe” (Aunt Katie) due to his mustache’s faithful companion: his long, curly and graying hair. (Our Aunt Katie prefers to go for light ash blonde, but that’s just how it is here in the crazy USA!)

Socrates, Brazil
The term “genius” is thrown around quite a bit in sports. But that word truly seems well suited for the man who was a genius at soccer … and style. (Hey, if you can’t give that moniker to a guy named Socrates, who sports a brilliant beard, who can you give it to?) His sweetly styled brush matched his panache on the pitch as he captained and starred in 60 games as a midfielder with spectacular soccer sensibilities on some of the greatest Brazilian teams of the 1970s and 1980s.

Roger Milla, Cameroon
This African legend is best remembered for roaring like a graybeard when he scored four goals to take his country to the quarterfinals at the ripe old age of 38. But he’s also fondly remembered for showing up for the 1982 tourney with a bodacious beard that became the fledgling team leader’s signature during the African nation’s heroic stand that saw them go unbeaten in the first round. With Milla’s leadership, Cameroon forced draws against established powerhouses, including the eventual winner Italy, before bowing out bloodied (and of course, bearded) but definitely unbowed.

Djibril Cisse, France
This Ivory Coast-born, Iberian bad boy has sculpted his scrub so many different ways we can’t figure out his strategy for the future. But for today, his game face is one of the most famous on the planet. One of his country’s biggest scorers, he still is better known for the singular style of his brush than for his play. Having said that, he was one of the stars of the troubled and disappointing French team at this year’s World Cup. But no one can say his beard didn’t show up ready to go for each and every game.

Alexi Lalas, USA
Landon Donovan’s getting all the action as the glamour guy of American soccer these days, but when our USA boys broke out on the big stage in 1990, the face of the sport in our country was Alexi Lalas. And that face was prominently plumed with one of the coolest goatees this side of Iron Man. Looking like a blend of Yosemite Sam and that dude from the Spin Doctors, Lalas had a style that matched his flamboyant play as he introduced the game to grunge and American soccer to the elite level in the 1990 and 1994 World Cup and in the 1992 and 1996 Summer Olympic Games.

Still struggling to find your masculine mojo? Or maybe you’re just looking to torque up your sense of style, witty banter or modern-music street cred. If you’re looking to be a better man (and we assume that’s why you’re here!), it might not hurt to take a peek at your telly for some “TV Guy-dance.” (Oh, yes, we did!)

That’s right, many of the best role models can be found right in your living room! Here are a few useful TV shows we recommend you monitor closely to help you get your man on.

1. Suit up in style.
You don’t have to show up for work looking like the guy who’s there to water the plants anymore. Check out “Mad Men”’s Don Draper and the rest of the retro dudes who’ve set fashion back 40 years -- and gotten a whole lot of women being a lot more nostalgic as a result of their backward-thinking fashion statements. Think: seer-sucker suits, slicked-back hair and super-skinny ties making everything old new and hot again. So if you want to cut a stylish look in the future, take a step back into the ’60s, son.

2. Get in tune with the coolest new bands.
Before “Scrubs” flatlined this season, it held the distinct honor of being the venue for the coolest tunes on the tube. Rock, pop and indie artists used to fight for the right to have their stuff wind up in the ending montages that summed up each episode’s themes. Artists who scrubbed in included Lazlo Blane, The Shins and the Butthole Surfers.

But since this useful TV show went belly up in March, the best place to get a diagnosis of the best new beats is (sigh) the girly “Grey’s Anatomy.” Always featuring new -- and surprising -- cool acts, each episode is themed and named after a song. (The show was instrumental in launching the careers of Snow Patrol and The Fray.)

Also, if you can repeat this information to any girl (we have scientific data that proves they worship this show), they’ll find you sensitive and open-minded.

3. Learn how to treat a woman … by watching football!
It turns out that some of the most sensitive and supportive men play or coach football. Surprised? Don’t be -- this is a TV show we’re talking about.

The men and boys on “Friday Night Lights” are largely solid citizens (when they’re not juicing or boozing, that is). But when they’re standing up, they’re standup guys.

The high school coach makes sure his players follow his game plan as he dutifully respects and works for his loving wife -- who also happens to be the principal. And this season, the star quarterback is willing to follow the golden rules when he steps out of bounds and knocks up a cheerleader. He wants to take care of the girl and the baby and be a dad.

In every case, when the guys are under the gun, they take care of their women with all-star style. Follow their playbook, and you’ll score with any woman.

4. Get your black belt in banter.
Want to be the funniest guy in the room without having to take off your pants … again? Then watch the better-man-friendly “30 Rock.” Pilfer a healthy dose of dialogue from this useful TV show, inject it into your real-life shtick, and you’ll never lack for wit again.

Take this exchange between Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) and boss man Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin) as a quality case study of classic comebacks. Her question: “Why are you wearing a tuxedo?” His answer? “It’s after 6. What am I, a farmer?”

Looking for more versatile quips? Try these other classic “Rock” classics:

• “I want to go to there.”

  Faux overstatement, phrased to mimic preschool-type desire for something. Works great to express instant overpowering infatuation with a lady.

• “What the what?!?”

  To express dumbfoundedness in a way that conveys hip, ironic wit to the elite class (while simultaneously mocking the vulgar and illiterate classes).

• “Oh … sarcasm!”

  A sarcastic way of acknowledging lame sarcasm expressed by others.

• “Well played, [insert your foil’s name here]. Well played.”

  A tongue-in-cheek, pseudo-classic-gentlemanly way of acknowledging victory to a foe relating to an issue that ultimately lacks importance. Hyperbolic.

The proof is in: Video games improve physical and mental skills that come in handy in the real world. Here's what to play to get an edge.

Could there be benefits to playing “Halo” for hours on end … besides getting really good at “Halo”?

Over the past few years, research has shown that video games can give you an edge at some real-world skills. Actual, useful skills, stuff that will come in handy at times other than when you happen to come across an energy sword.

“When I was at Beth Israel Hospital, I noticed that surgeons who played video games were better at laparoscopic surgery,” says Dr. Paul Lynch, an Arizona doctor who’s been studying the effects of video games on physiology for over 20 years. Laparoscopic surgery involves inserting a camera into the patient. “In that type of procedure, surgeons have their hands on instruments while looking at a screen. It’s almost like playing a video game.”

That’s a very specific example of video games honing a particular skill, but all kinds of studies that have been done over the years point to the many benefits of gaming. Rolf Nelson, a professor of psychology at Wheaton College, recently looked at the effects of gaming on cognitive abilities.

“Different video games cause players to adopt different strategies in subsequent tasks,” says Nelson. “For example, after playing a fast-paced shooting game, players tend to sacrifice accuracy in favor of speed in a completely unrelated task.”

So which kinds of games emphasize which skills? Lynch’s research can give us a clue. In his study, he had his game-playing surgeons play three different kinds of games, each of which improved specific tasks:

To Improve Visual Skills:

Playing a shooter, particularly one with targeting crosshairs and a sniper-like experience, can improve visual skills. Anyone who plays “Halo 3”or “BioShock 2” will probably be better at tracking several objects at once and making snap decisions. That could be useful playing sports, but Nelson suggests it could be a benefit for even more mundane tasks.

“If you're playing ‘Halo’ with friends,” he says, “you need to track where they all are and to distinguish them from non-threatening things. Thus, video game players just may be able to find their keys faster in a messy room.”

To Improve Spatial Perception:

Second, games with heavy 3-D graphics can bestow better spatial perception. The immersive experience of “Super Monkey Ball” constantly forces players to imagine depth of field. That could come in handy in drafting or graphic design.

“What I can say with a fair amount of confidence is that for any task that uses a graphical user interface, video games can certainly help,” says Lynch.

To Improve Reaction Time:

Finally, racing games like “Supercar Challenge” may have an effect on reaction time. Surgeons in Lynch’s study who played “Star Wars Racer Revenge” were quicker with their scalpels than those who didn’t.

So in light of the potential benefits, should you schedule more quality time with your PS3? Not quite. As Nelson’s research showed, games that emphasize one goal (say, speed) may cause you to sacrifice another (accuracy). He also warns of other consequences: “There may be other larger trade-offs, such as depression or a loss of social life -- but that's a bigger issue.”

Some shaving scenes in films should warn, "Don't try this at home." For the best razor experience, learn from these characters' mistakes.

In the same way you wouldn’t trust Ron Burgundy to educate you on the duties of an anchorman, you can’t necessarily count on movie characters to be good shaving mentors. In fact, some movie men make perfect role models for what not to do: They scrape when they should glide, sting when they should soothe and drive the razor north when they should roll south.

Health and beauty expert Kyan Douglas, best known as the grooming guru on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and present host of TLC’s 10 Years Younger, took a sharp look at the shaving scenes in some popular flicks and shows us why they should be recut.

Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House (1948)

In Front of the Mirror:

Jim Blandings (Cary Grant) must battle for real estate in front of the bathroom mirror as his freshly showered wife (Myrna Loy) cuts in front and foils Grant’s attempt at achieving uninterrupted shaving.

The Wrong Cut:

Douglas concludes that a shaver needs to be able to focus on the task at face.

“There are times when I’m rushed or in a hurry,” says Douglas, “and those are the times I knick my Adam’s apple. And then those become the most inconvenient times -- because now you’re still late, and you’re also bleeding. So just give yourself the time to really respect your face. It’s delicate skin, your face. Take care of it.”

In the same way you wouldn’t trust Ron Burgundy to educate you on the duties of an anchorman, you can’t necessarily count on movie characters to be good shaving mentors. In fact, some movie men make perfect role models for what not to do: They scrape when they should glide, sting when they should soothe and drive the razor north when they should roll south.

North By Northwest (1959)

In Front of the Mirror:

In the men’s room of Chicago’s Union Station, Roger Thornhill (Cary Grant again) must shave to disguise his identity but only has access to a teeny women’s pink razor (the property of his romantic foil, Eva Marie Saint).

The Wrong Cut:

Sure, Grant had to make do with whatever kind of blade he could get; after all, he was on the run from the law, mistaken for a killer. But obviously, you should avoid using a woman’s razor on your face.

“Women often use those kinds of disposable razors,” notes Douglas. “I don’t know that ‘lady shavers’ -- if that’s what you want to call them -- are really designed to get the close kind of shave the way the men’s razors are. Plus, on a very practical level, you really shouldn’t be sharing razors with anybody -- it’s not sanitary. Things can definitely be transmitted, like warts. And because it can be a bloody situation, sharing razors has even been linked to transmission of Hepatitis C.”

As for the teeniness of that pink shaver, Douglas adds, “It’s not so much the size of the equipment, it’s really the quality.” And Douglas opts for a good multiblade razor.

The Graduate (1967)

In Front of the Mirror:

While attempting to scrape off some bristle (stroking the razor upward on his neck), Ben Braddock (Dustin Hoffman) gets a visit from his mom who basically asks him if he’s tomcatting around at night. Shocked at the question, Hoffman slits his finger on his safety razor.

The Wrong Cut:

“This is kind of an almost iconic image of a man shaving,” says Douglas. “He’s got his chin up, he’s lathered up, he’s going against the grain -- shaving up from the Adam’s apple. But here’s the deal: One is supposed to go with the grain.

“Now what if the hair on your neck grows in different directions, as it does with many men? Or around your chin, for example? Shaving up is perfect if your hair grows upward. If you get a 5 o’clock shadow very easily and you want to control that, rather than go against the grain, you can go sideways into the grain -- it’s not as traumatic on the skin. You’re less likely to get razor bumps and irritation.

“But the lesson is to really pay attention to the grain of your facial hair and do your best to shave with it,” says Douglas.

And the other lesson?

“Don’t talk about sex with your mother while you’re shaving.”

Home Alone(1990)

In Front of the Mirror:

In an iconic motion-picture moment, Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin) indulges in bathroom grooming capped off by a splash of aftershave -- resulting in the sting heard round the world.

The Wrong Cut:

Forget that the 8-year-old in the movie never actually “shaves.” The takeaway involves the use of boozed-up post-shave elixirs (which can really smart a freshly shorn face).

Says Douglas: “It’s just a very old-school mentality about aftershave -- that stinging is good because it’s disinfecting. It should be used to soothe the skin.”

The Aviator (2004)

In Front of the Mirror:

Because he needs to emerge from seclusion, Howard Hughes (Leonardo DiCaprio) must finally shave off his ratty beard. Helping him perform the deed: Ava Gardner (Kate Beckinsale).

The Wrong Cut:

Based on our shave-with-the-grain rule, it would seem this scene gets it wrong, since Beckinsale slides the razor up DiCaprio’s neck, against the grain. But after careful inspection, Douglas concludes the scene actually got it right.

“Straight-blade professionals will often shave against the grain,” notes Douglas. “But only after they’ve shaved the face once with the grain. And it looks like that’s what she had done: There was just a little bit of shaving cream on his cheek, but the rest of his face had been shaved.”

Starsky & Hutch (2004)

In Front of the Mirror:

Ken Hutchinson (Owen Wilson) shaves in the police department men’s bathroom.

The Wrong Cut:

At first glance, it would seem Wilson has his technique wrong, holding his razor nearly full-on vertically. Were you to follow suit with a modern-day razor, you’d be gaffing.

But for this scene, Douglas blames Wilson’s equipment: the retro safety razor (the movie’s set in the ’70s). “With those old-school razors, it’s really like working with a straight blade,” explains Wilson. “The angle in which you hold it is really important. So I think the actor was holding the blade the way it actually needs to be held, so he didn’t cut himself.”

Douglas adds, “One of the things I really like about this scene is that Owen Wilson really seems to be taking his time -- taking small strokes, sort of like doing detail work. And that’s really great if you’re someone whose facial hair growth pattern goes in many different directions.”

Hancock (2008)

In Front of the Mirror:

About to emerge from prison to commit acts of super-heroism, John Hancock (Will Smith) first decides to clean up his act. He parks himself in front of his cell’s sink, applies shaving cream and shaves … using his fingernails. 

The Wrong Cut:

Since we mere mortals can’t fairly evaluate the effectiveness of fingernails as razors, Douglas found another flaw.

“What struck me about that scene is that he didn’t use any water,” says Douglas. “He just put the cream on there and just … thwack. And in our imaginary Shaving 101 lesson book, the first thing you talk about is applying water to soften the beard. You should really first wash your face, or take a shower, or splash water on your face for a minute or use a wet hot towel -- something that keeps moisture and heat on your beard long enough to moisten that hair shaft.”

Top NFL players’ numbers are growing at the same pace as their beards and mustaches. Here’s our cutting analysis of what may be the potentially hairy connection.

There needs to be an investigation into a performance-enhancement trend in the National Football League. More All-Pro players are running faster, hitting harder and jumping higher. And we have reason to believe the performance-enhancing evidence is as clear as the nose on their faces -- or at least the brush right underneath it.

That’s right: Neatly trimmed facial hair has been sprouting all over the league’s elite players’ otherwise ugly mugs. Is it a coincidence that the best of the best are fine-tuning their facial hair like violin strings? We doubt you’ll think so after you read our performance analysis of the hairy-faced men of football.

Pitt’s Pendulum

Player:

Ben Roethlisberger

Position:

Quarterback

Team:

Pittsburgh Steelers

Facial hairstory:

Trimmed beard and goatee

Big Ben and his beard burst on the scene in 2004, when he was drafted by the Steelers. Rocking the vaguely Eastern European goatee and matching mustache, at 23, he became the youngest Super Bowl-winning quarterback in NFL history. Roethlisberger actually had a fan site (called Ben’s Beard) dedicated to his facial hair, and it was supported by over 14,000 brush buddies. Despite this, in February 2006, he shaved it all off for The Late Show With David Letterman. Just a few months later, he was in a career-threatening motorcycle accident … after which he returned with his beard reborn and went on to lead the Steelers to another Super Bowl championship.

Post-game analysis:

Is Roethlisberger’s brush with success only a coincidence? The answer is as plain as the hair on Ben’s face: Without it, Big Ben’s a stopped clock.

Rowdy Receiver’s Face Moss

Player:

Randy Moss

Position:

Wide Receiver

Team:

New England Patriots

Facial hairstory:

From well-groomed mustache and beard to hobo-looking face brush

The bad boy of the New England Patriots has had both a hairy and stylish career. He arrived in the NFL from Marshall with a stylin’ (and neatly trimmed) beard and mustache -- along with a criminal rap sheet and a bad reputation. But Moss’ stats and beard grew throughout his pro career as he set the NFL single-season touchdown reception record as a rookie and became the league’s top receiver for the Vikings from 1998 through 2005. Later, as a Pats-man, he led their way to the Super Bowl. This year, though, his beard became particularly unruly, inviting comparisons to a member of ZZ Top. Simultaneously, his numbers dropped -- along with his focus -- and his teammates and opponents questioned his dedication.

Post-game analysis:

We’re thinking, if he just gets himself a little trim, he’ll be back in the Pro Bowl.

Brush Fired

Player:

Brett Favre

Position:

Quarterback

Team:

Minnesota Vikings

Facial hairstory:

Round-the-clock 5 o’clock shadow

Brett Favre joined the Atlanta Falcons in 1991 -- a fresh-faced kid from Southern Mississippi who … sucked. It took a few years for Favre to find his way to Green Bay and the Don Johnson round-the-clock shadow look that put a fuzzy fine point on his image. Once he mastered the constant mowing of his facial foliage, he simultaneously cranked up the caliber of his gunslinger image. The brush caught fire in 1995 when Favre nailed down his first MVP Awards and led the Packers to their best record in nearly 30 seasons. He then led the team to the Super Bowl title the following season. In the years since, he’s put up Hall of Fame numbers with the Pack, then the Jets and now has the Vikings playing better than they’ve had in years.

Post-game analysis:

Once Brett-man started focusing on the crucial details of his All Pro appearance, his meticulous legend as a superhero on the field grew and grew.

Bigfoot’s a Big Hit

Player:

Nick Mangold

Position:

Center

Team:

New York Jets

Facial hairstory:

Wookie puss

Nick Mangold, an offensive lineman taken by the New York Jets in 2006, has grown on the Big Apple like a huge pile of hairy moss on a skyscraper. After a near-Rookie of the Year season (rare for a center), the 6-foot-4-inch, 305-pound stunt double for that Bigfoot dude in Harry and the Hendersons is already considered one of the best at his position in the league. He’s all set for his second Pro Bowl season at the tender age (for a side of beef) of 25. So why don’t you know him? Because the dude’s got so much hair on his head and face, he looks like a Wookie.

Post-game analysis:

One full contact drill with a razor and a set of sheep shears, and this guy could be as rich and famous as Michael Jordan.

Groomed and Dangerous

Player:

Ray Lewis

Position:

Middle Linebacker

Team:

Baltimore Ravens

Facial hairstory:

Stylin’ bristles

Showing up in the mid-’90s, Ray Lewis had a suitcase full of swagger and a macked-out mug full of trimmed, waxed and styled facial hair. He instantly became the most dominant player at his position since Dick Butkus … with a lot more flair. Sure he’s had tough times -- like when he pled guilty to being on the scene of a murder after the 2000 Super Bowl in Atlanta (the only black mark on his otherwise clean off-field record). But that brush with disaster has disappeared in the rearview mirror as Ray-Ray continues to rack up big numbers and batter quarterbacks at the advanced assaulting age of 35! Now sporting a personality to match his civilized style, the eight-time Pro Bowler and 2000 Super Bowl MVP has sacked his bad-boy image to become a Madison Avenue All Star, racking up all sorts of endorsements. 

Post-game analysis:

When the personality of the defensive face of the NFL caught up with his stylish facial image, Lewis became a media darling.