What Counts as Cheating? Women Answer

Have you ever cheated on a girl?

If your first impulse is to give an excuse (“We never said we’re exclusive!” or “She was out of the country!”), then listen up: Women hold the reins in determining what counts as cheating. After all, we’re the ones who decide whether or not to forgive you once you’ve crossed the line.

To help you guys out, we asked the Men’s Life Today Girl Panel™ to draw that line. Sadly, it appears to be a moving one, depending on whom you ask. There are a few shared beliefs, though. For example, swapping spit with another woman is definitely cheating. And a lot of behaviors, while not technically cheating, are still grounds for saying buh-bye. While these girls seem to be all over the map, we advise the following: Assume yours is on the conservative side. That way, you can’t screw up.

The Panel:

Jaye, 23 Lawrese, 22 Angela, 24 Michelle, 27 Christina, 23 Arielle, 25

Define cheating in 50 words or less:

“If you’re with another girl and doing something you wouldn’t do in front of me (beyond a little harmless flirting), then it’s probably cheating. Another good test? Ask yourself, ‘Would I mind if she was doing this with another guy?’” -- Michelle

“Being intimate -- emotionally or physically -- with someone else.” -- Arielle 

“You have to have the boyfriend/girlfriend title. I don’t care if you’ve been hooking up consistently for a year straight. You can’t be pissed at the guy for hooking up with someone else when you ‘give it away’ without a title!” -- Jaye

“It’s not cheating if one person thinks they’re together, and the other doesn’t. That’s just miscommunication.” -- Lawrese

Does checking out another girl count as cheating?

“Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you go blind or that other people become suddenly less attractive. You can look all you want, as long as you don’t touch.” -- Lawrese

How about flirting with another girl without mentioning you have a girlfriend?

“If it’s kept to a one-time flirtation -- no numbers exchanged, no touching -- then I don’t see the harm.” -- Michelle

“Flirting is healthy. It lets people feel like they still ‘got it’ even though they’re off the market.” -- Lawrese

“It’s not cheating, but if it’s conscious and it’s in an effort to get the other person attracted to you, then it’s very shady.” -- Christina

Kissing another girl?

“Kissing a girl on the cheek to say hello or good-bye is fine, but ANY other kind of kissing is so cheating and so not OK!” -- Jaye

Talking to your ex-girlfriend without informing your current girlfriend?

“If you just want to remain friendly with your ex-girlfriend, that’s fine. But if you’re still interested in her, or if she still wants you, that is unacceptable.” -- Angela

“It’s not cheating; it’s just a dick move. And if you’re doing that, who knows what else you’re doing that is cheating?” -- Jaye

Dancing with another girl?

“As long as you’re not grinding your junk all over the girl, it’s fine.” -- Jaye

“If you dance with another girl in front of me, that’s not cool.” -- Angela

Going to a strip club?

“As long as you don’t lie about it and don’t ask for any private dances, there’s nothing wrong with a little visual voyeurism -- as long as I can pursue the same.” -- Lawrese

“If you’re going once a week, it may not be cheating, but it’s definitely a deal-breaker. Ew!” -- Michelle

Watching or looking at porn?

“Definitely not. Boys will be boys!” -- Michelle

“We’d actually be more concerned if you weren’t watching porn.” -- Lawrese

“It’s not technically cheating, but if it becomes excessive and interferes with daily life, then it’s a problem and grounds for breaking up.” -- Christina

What counts as “emotional cheating”?

“Harboring feelings for someone else, and then getting close to her to act on those feelings -- that’s playing with fire.” -- Lawrese

“When a guy forms a relationship with another girl. Even if it starts off as a friendship, if he begins to favor that person and spend increasing amounts of time with her, it can be worse than physical cheating, because that could be purely sexual.” -- Angela

“Talking via phone, text, IM, email, etc., without the knowledge of your partner -- especially when confiding personal secrets and problems to the other person -- is emotional cheating.” -- Christina

If your boyfriend cheated on you, would you want to know about it?

“Yes! Why would I want him to get to away with that?! And I would want to tell his friends and his family -- yes, his family! -- and embarrass him.” -- Jaye

“I would need to know, and then I would most likely break up with him.” -- Arielle 

“I would rather find out from him than from someone else, or not find out at all.” -- Christina 

Could you forgive your partner for cheating?

“I don’t know. It would be nearly impossible to get over.” -- Arielle 

“No. I would never be able to trust him again. I can’t be with someone I don’t trust.” -- Angela

“I’d definitely be more likely to forgive him if we were together for a long time (more than 3 years) or if we were married.” -- Michelle

“Nothing is forgivable when it comes to cheating. Period. Once a cheater, always a cheater.” -- Jaye

If you could forgive your partner, how could he make it up to you?

“Time … flowers … more time … undying attention … and a lot more time.” -- Michelle

Photo: @iStockphoto.com/-ilkeryuksel-

How to Survive the Holidays at Her House

Family and relationships: It’s a potent combination at any time of year. But during the holidays -- when expectations are high, history runs deep, and people who live happily apart all year are suddenly thrown together for hours or even days -- tensions can really skyrocket. Whether or not you’ve already met your significant other’s family, becoming part of their holiday traditions is new -- and potentially volatile -- territory. But with a little preparation, you can easily get through it … and maybe even win some coveted brownie points. Herewith, our survival tips for dealing with this most precarious time of year.

Tip No. 1: Talk to your girlfriend in advance.
Sari Eckler Cooper
, a psychotherapist and sex therapist, recommends you get your ducks in a row well before the visit. Ask your girlfriend which family members you’re likely to connect with, who you might want to keep a distance from, and what topics are off limits (like that estranged uncle in Chile). Discuss family traditions in order to avoid major surprises, and plan tactics for impressing her relatives. If they’re into singing carols, for instance, learn the tune to at least one -- and don’t be shy about humming it.

Tip No. 2: Arm yourself with gifts.
Don’t neglect to bring a thoughtful host gift. As soon as you step in the door, give your host or hostess an ornament, holiday cookies or flowers to set a positive tone from the outset. Whether you bring additional presents has everything to do with what her family does on the holidays (which, again, means talking to your girlfriend). Is there a major gift-opening ritual? If so, are all her relatives bringing you a little something? Or is it just her parents, who’ve got a more substantial present in the works? Your girlfriend can let you know what level of gifts to expect, and from whom, without ruining the surprise. Then prepare to come bearing the same level of gifts in exchange.

Tip No. 3: “Jingle” rhymes with “mingle.”
The most crucial part, of course, is the gathering itself. Even if you’ve gotten the total scoop from your girlfriend and have hunted down the perfect presents, it’s normal to be a little nervous. But don’t let your anxiety get the best of you. “A lot of guys freak out when they go to these family gatherings and glue themselves to the girlfriend because it’s comfortable,” says Jordan Harbinger, co-founder of The Art of Charm, a company that teaches men social skills. “But it’s only comfortable for you.” No one’s going to hurt you; it’s a family gathering, after all. And she’ll probably find it annoying if she has to babysit you. As Harbinger puts it: “How would you feel if she followed you around during your family party and wouldn’t talk to any of your relatives? You’d be embarrassed.”

The easiest people to mingle with are the oldest and youngest relatives, says Cooper. “Children tend to be the most open to visitors and to having fun,” she explains, “and the adults will appreciate getting a break from them.” The elderly family members might not have the energy to run around in the yard with you, but they sure can talk a blue streak. “Try asking how they celebrated the holidays as a child or what their favorite holiday was,” recommends Cooper.

Tip No. 4: Lend a helping hand.
It is that do-good time of year, right? Aside from talking, a great way to interact is to help out with chores. It’s a sign to her relatives that they don’t have to treat you like a guest, and you’ll fit in with the family all the more easily. If you offer to give a hand in the kitchen and get turned down, suggest a quick run to the store to grab the buttermilk they forgot to buy. Or ask Mama G to show you how she makes her cookies so chewy. Whether she tells you or prefers to keep it her little secret, chances are she’ll have a soft spot for you forever.

Photo Credit: @iStockphoto.com/kzenon

Summer Budget

The edited with the pleasant aspects of life grows: your back will feel the warmth of the sun, beautiful women in the streets begins to swing Tirilye Tirilye and perhaps the most beautiful, the dearly beloved financially able to flirt with collapsing increases the options available. The possibilities are endless, but your lover to experience summer on a shoestring budget will give you six great suggestions.

Event 1: here, "Park" You Can
Whether the first, or whether the fiftieth meeting, appointments are easy and cheap to go to the edge of a nearby park or lake. The famous romance coach, Arthur Milo, "The first appointment ball play touch or eat ice cream. You will easily get an idea about the relationship process. "He says. Rent a boat at sunset, go for a ride, or if possible, among the other alternatives. Ducks, pigeons or sparrows to keep with you a little bit of bread crumbs. Girls love men animal lover.

Event 2: Music Lyrics
Many free concerts are organized throughout the summer in the city. This is an opportunity to discover new music without paying a fee. If you have a small diameter organizasyonsa and a proper environment, you bring a blanket for a picnic get something to eat. If you be tracking a famous artist, forget about the picnic. Both of you will lose plenty of water, you get water. Lover, warmly welcomes this thoughtful behavior.

Event 3: Upgrade to the Bar
The weather gets hot, open-air venues terrace floors, a great place to bring our beloved romantic moments. For most women the landscape is to say romance. Only hamburgers or chicken wings on the menu, even if it does not matter. Alone, not get caught in the crowd out of the weekend. For example, quit on Tuesday. Thus, you and your beloved will go all the space. Do not have a great terrace nearby restaurant or cafe? Then call a garden or a place overlooking the sea, a view will do the job as long as!

Event 4: Festival and Events
Can participate in low cost or free summer festivals and events in dating the most beautiful homes. Get your hand and blend in. snacks. For example, join one of the competitions get something for him. If you have amusement park, ride a Ferris Do not forget, the moment you leave the summit is a good opportunity to promote intimacy. I hope you understand.

Event 5: Performing Arts
You do not have to watch Shakespeare. However, preferably a place in the open air theater organization, the relationship is reflected in your bottom line as plus points. Is not too hard to find an affordable place. Examine the papers-the Internet and your beloved, do plan to bring our class one day. For a quick bite before the show, fruit juice, sandwiches and dessert, which consists of the package can prepare a picnic. If you have a short in the front of game-related research, is garantilediniz flörtünüzü fascinated. Do not like the theater? The game is played outdoors, choose a cloudy night, half due to rain, if you show, you are infected cultures effortless scores!

Event 6: The Life of a sunny beach
The bus, train, car or bike to the beach Take yourself to jump! "Spent money / feast for the eyes" is the ratio of the highest type of appointment. Bring towel, mat, chips and bring something to drink. Offer to drive your lover suntan oil on her back. Leave the rest to you.

Stop a Break From Becoming a Breakup

It’s Murphy’s Law of relationships: Just when everything is trucking along perfectly, she lands an internship in another city. Or a semester abroad in Italy. Or even band camp for the summer. Whatever it is, it’s a chunk of time apart, and it makes you nervous. You have a right to be -- breaks often lead to breakups. But if you know that’s not what you want, there are things you can do -- both before and after the separation -- to keep your relationship on track.

B.B. (Before the Break)
“The key is to talk about it beforehand freely and openly,” says Nancy Pina, relationship expert and founder of Right Relationships TV. “Just ask her straight out if she wants to pick up where you left off when she returns and whether she sees long-term potential in the relationship.” This way, says Pina, no one is left guessing. If she thinks she’s in a committed relationship while you think it’s OK to date other people (or vice versa), well, suffice it to say that few relationships survive that kind of misunderstanding.

This isn’t an easy conversation to have, particularly for guys. After all, it might not go the way you want it to. But it’s good practice. Allowing yourself to feel vulnerable and to discuss your relationship with your partner are not just core life skills -- they’re the mark of a man. And there are practical things you can work out along the way, such as how you’re going to stay connected during the break.

“One of the keys to getting back together successfully after a separation is healthy communication while you’re apart,” says Pina. “Agree on how often you can be in touch, and what format -- text or email or Facebook or the phone. Otherwise you might hurt her feelings by not texting her as much as you used to when you were living in the same place.”

A.B. (After the Break)
So what about when she’s back? Pina suggests some simple gestures, like meeting her with flowers at the airport. “And a mushy card always helps!”

But it’s important to go slowly. According to Jennifer Curtet, lifestyle coach and professional speaker, there needs to be a re-acquaintance period after a long time apart. “You might get that slo-mo reunion at the airport and all the hugs and ‘I love you,’ but what about a week later?” she says. “We change a lot, especially when we’re young. Everyone wants to just jump in the sack and try to get back to where they were, but don’t assume that someone’s going to be the same when they return from a major trip.”

Keep things low-key and relaxed, so you both have the opportunity to feel comfortable and reconnect properly. A welcome-home party sounds like a great idea, but it will likely keep you separated or focused on other people. “The same goes for seeing a band or going to a movie,” says Curtet. “The important thing is to interact one-on-one, so consider options like a trip to a park or museum, or a meal in your favorite restaurant. You’ll get a chance to talk and discover just how she’s been changed by her trip.”

One of the byproducts of being separated is sensitivity, perhaps even jealousy. This is only natural; during your separation you both have experienced different things, perhaps having met and spent time with other people. But the antidote is easy: Create new experiences together. It could be as simple as reading the same book. Even better is to learn something new together. Ask her what she wants to explore and help make it happen. It moves your relationship forward, rather than trying to recreate the past.

“It could be anything,” says Curtet. “A pottery class, a dance class, or something like rock climbing, which relies on trust in a potentially scary experience. If she’s been in the third world, her values may be different. Perhaps you could help out in your community and feed the homeless. Ultimately, shared values make for a strong relationship.”

You both grow and change independently during periods of separation, so getting back together can seem like starting from scratch. The key is to appreciate the new 5.0 version of your partner and your relationship. Taking this opportunity to reappraise both can deepen your bond, which might be just what’s needed to get to the next level.

Photo: @iStockphoto.com/PeskyMonkey

What to Say to Women

Maybe your confidence fritzes out at girl-mingling time, or maybe you just say boorish, untrue things. Either way, you’ll need to learn how to talk the talk. Here’s what to say.

Hey, you! Yeah, you. Solitary man in the corner. With nobody to talk to. That’s right, we’re talking to you, hermit boy! It’s time to get over yourself and start getting over with the ladies. All it takes is a little self-confidence … and maybe losing the pleated Dockers.

First off, to connect with a lady, you have to actually make a freakin’ attempt. That means you need to relax, suck it up and channel your inner winner. Vernacular: Let people (we’re talking girls here, Romeo) know who you really are. So if you’re dusting off some killer dialogue like, “Do you sleep on your stomach … ’cause I’d sure like to,” they’ll know who you really are: a loser. Which you’re not! So read on.

Opening Lines
“The best opening line is a smile and a friendly hello,” says networking guru Susan Roane, whose books on the topic include How to Work a Room.

Interpretation: Guys often think they need to roll up to a lady like Jack Nicholson on Viagra. But unless you starred in Chinatown (or have Lakers courtside seats for that matter), lounge lizard lines sound pretty lame. And if your rap sounds like dialogue from A Night at the Roxbury, best to call it a night before leaving the house.

“Contrived opening lines come with inherent pitfalls,” says dating counselor Amy Owens, known as The Singles Coach on the Web and the author of The Itty Bitty Breakup Book. “If a man’s greeting appears contrived -- and most phony ones do -- the woman’s apt to think he’s trying way too hard. She may even wonder what he’s trying to prove.”

Owens advises guys to keep it simple and focused on the woman. “A good opening line is simply, ‘How’s your day going?’ Asked in a friendly manner, this question invites a woman to tell you what’s really going on with her. If she’s having a bad day, you’ll get an idea of her capacity and style for dealing with adversity. If she’s having a good day, you’ll know what makes her happy -- a question most men would love to have the answer for.”

Roane even suggests preparing a little five- to seven-second self-introduction script, custom-built for the event you’re attending. Example: “Hi, my name is Mike, and I’m a friend of the groom. How about you?”

Talk to Her
New York psychologist JoAnn Magdoff suggests tailoring your conversation to the woman. “Telling a girl she has beautiful eyes sounds a little bit too generic and a lot less believable than making a comment about a unique bracelet she’s wearing or the dress she picked out for the occasion,” she says. “This makes it sound like you’re actually interested in her … not just any woman.”

Engage Her (and You)
“If you’re at a ball game, ask her how long she’s been a fan,” Magdoff advises. “If you’re at a resort, ask her if the place has lived up to her expectations. Engage her in conversation that’s relevant to her -- and you. This way, you won’t have to search for crazy topics you have no expertise in.”

Stay True
Hear that, all you “movie producers,” “billionaires” and “astronauts?” Stick to stuff you know. “If you’re being fake, chances are a woman will see right through it,” says Magdoff. And while you’re at it, actually listen to what she has to say. If she’s hot, even her summation of today’s The View will sound profound. Trust us.

Show Interest
“Be genuinely interested in who she is and how she presents herself,” Magdoff adds. “Pay attention and you’ll pick up cues from her about what she wants to talk about. When you do, she’ll be more interested in hearing about you and your interests.”

Be Body-conscious
You can also connect with body language -- just make sure it ain’t foul language. “Don’t lean in too much,” Magdoff warns. “At least until her body language gives you the invitation.” Owens agrees, insisting you let the woman set the pace: “If she casually touches your arm after several comments back and forth, that signals that she trusts you and would be interested in getting to know you.”

So there they are, men, the keys to casual conversation with a woman. From the experts. Who all happen to be women. If these tips don’t work, well, maybe she’s just not that into you.